It's so sad

Today I received a response from my mom.  It is exactly as I expected.  She is bitter, out to hurt me and vindicate herself and be vindictive.  She wants a to play a tit for tat game.  I don't.  She started the letter out with "You have your say, now I get mine."  I knew right away that it wasn't going to be a nice letter.  It is sad.  It's sad to see the person that my mom has become.  It's sad to see that she must be very miserable in her life and with herself to act this way.  I am not going to respond to her letter because I don't want a message war going on.  I don't want to have an ongoing fight.  I will end it right now by not responding.  I will not contact her at all.  I really can't handle having her in my life if she is going to be acting in this manner.  I need to move on and I suppose that if I have to do it without my mother, than I will. 

Comfort

Today was a very nice day with a good friend.  These are the days that make the hard days worthwhile.  And to top off the day, my husband is now cooking a salmon dinner for us.  I am exhausted though.  I could go to bed now but it's only 7pm.  This is going to be an evening that I lay down and read or play a video game to relax.

 

Thought Volleys

Tonight my thoughts are kind of all over the place....bouncing around in my head trying to escape into the stillness of the evening.  I suppose I should let them out....

A lot of what is on my mind has to do with my mom.  Oh I don't really even want to get into the whole story.  It's long.  But the recent events can be relayed.  

My mom wanted to have my kids spend the night.  She is newly married to a man that she met on the internet not even a full 2 years ago.  I have not been in his presence very many times.  I don't know him.  I told her that I wasn't going to allow them to spend the night with him.  My husband and I are very protective and just not comfortable with it.  I was very nice and told her why.  She got mad, which is understandable I suppose.  But she doesn't try to understand.

Then a comment was made to a friend of mine about children growing up to be mean.  They are mean on purpose and it gets worse the older they get.  She also will call my sister to get information about me and what she thinks is my miserable life or she flat-out lies about me to my sister.  After I saw the comment I decided it was time to let her know how I felt.

I prayed and prayed.  The message that I sent to her was done under direct guidance from the Holy Spirit.  It was very nice and Christian.  She did not take it that way and has not spoken to me since I sent it yesterday.  I understand that she is hurt.  But she has told my sister things that a mother should not say about her daughter.

Since she got the letter yesterday she also got mad at my sister because she was not supposed to share the lies that were told about me or the comments made about me.  I was very hopeful that she would sit back and think about this with an open mind.  But after knowing what I know, it's obvious that she won't change.  She is just mean and vindictive.  I think that I am going to have to just stop all contact.

This all hurts.  She thinks that I want her to die right now.  That I don't care.  But I do.  She's my mom!  Who doesn't love their mom and want things to be right between them?  But on the other hand, I know she lies constantly.  She is constantly negative and rude to people.  She's a bad influence on my children.  Her behavior and attitude lots of times embarrasses me.  I don't necessarily want to lose my mom, but in lots of ways I don't want to have her in my life either.  

I feel such a great peace though.  After I sent the letter to her it was like a thousand pounds being lifted off of my chest!  I can breath!  I will never allow myself to be under her power like that again!  Things will be different between us now, as they have been since she pulled a fit a couple of years ago.  

In light of that, I am thankful that the Lord led me to my church three years ago and I met my Spiritual Mother.  She is my mom in many ways, just not blood.  She even calls me daughter.  

Anyways, I know that I am strong enough to handle whatever becomes of this.  And if my mom apologizes I will forgive her, but as I said before, things won't be the same.  

Follow Friday

Friday Follow: A Celebration of Followers

Welcome to the third Friday Follow celebration hosted by One 2 Try, Hearts Make Families and Midday Escapades!  We invite you to join us every Friday to get more blog followers and to follow other interesting blogs.  It is all about sharing and having fun.

Here's how YOU can join the celebration:

• * Link up your blog name and URL using the MckLinky below. Only need to add to one blog linky.
• * Follow the Friday Follow hostesses listed in the first 3 slots.  We will follow you back.
  
• * Follow as many blogs as you like
• * Comment on the blogs telling them you're from Friday Follow
• * Follow back when you get a new follower through Friday Follow

The Blog Hop is the same at each of our three hosts blogs so you do not have to add your blog at each site. Just one - but you can follow each host blog.  Here is the great part, we will follow you back.

Resolutions

Alright, so I suppose I should make some type of resolutions.  Mostly to give myself some goals for the upcoming year.  I am going to stick with the idea that I got from a book called Writing Down the Days by Lorraine M. Dahlstrom, M. A.  The author suggest to start with three resolutions.  So here is what I am planning to resolve in 2010:

 

1.  To walk closer to God, to pray more to Jesus and read my Bible daily.  I want to daily be closer and know more about God than I did the day before.  I hope that I never want to stop learning about God and wanting to be His.


2.  To bring more love and patience into my home with everyone that is here, including visitors.  This is something that I need to practice a whole lot more than I do.  I hate having visitors here every day, but we do, so I need to just deal with it.  And deal with it the way that Jesus would. 


3.  To read at least 50 books.  Last year I read 46 books and I was so close to 50.  With each year I can read a few more books.  It's because the kids are getting older and they take less of my time.  That's a good and bad thing.

Ok wait...I want to make one more...

4.  To appreciate EVERY single moment with my children now.  Good and bad.  All of it.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY

JANUARY 11, 2010...
Outside my window...it is black outside still and it's raining
I am thinking...About Kyle's breathing.  This morning he wasn't breathing well.  I think I am going to have to take him into the dr.
I am thankful for...coffee in the morning to wake me up!
From the learning rooms...Today we will start our week of Noah's Ark.  Amanda is learning about archeology and historians.  Both of them are going to take their cooking lesson today also.
From the kitchen...My coffee pot just beeped at me to let me know that my coffee is done!
I am wearing...Red flannel pj bottoms and a brown sweatshirt with gray and blue fuzzy socks
I am creating...the love of Jesus in my children to last them their whole lives!
I am going...No where today except maybe take Kyle to the doctor
I am reading...Justifiable Means by Terry Blackstock
I am hoping...that nothing is seriously wrong with Kyle
I am hearing...the water in Greg's aquarium because the water level is too low. 
Around the house...things need to be picked up badly!
One of my favorite things...is cuddling with my babies.  I cuddled Kyle at 2am this morning on the couch.
A few plans for the rest of the week:Clean house, do school work and take Amanda to a birthday party on Sat.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...this is our cat Hemi.  He is the greatest cat.  He just loves Amanda.  He sleeps with her quite a bit.  Here they are both staying warm and sleeping in my waterbed.  Hemi can't stay off that bed, he loves it and has popped it about 3 or 4 times.

If you liked this blog and would like to read others like it check this out  http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Reason I'm blessed #1

*NOTE: These blessings are not in a particular order.  I am counting blessings as I feel blessed by them, not in order of importance.*

Today at church was our annual Spaghetti Feed.  This was the first time that I was able to attend it.  I am glad that I did.  I have been blessed by my church so much.  Just being there warms my heart.  But my church is not really the blessing that I wanted to talk about tonight.  

I came home tonight, as I have other nights from church, feeling like I belong.  What a great feeling!  And it's even better to know that it is God's presence that creates that feeling.  I have made lots of friends at church.  Some closer relationships than others.  There are two people that stand out the most to me.  In this blog I want to talk about one of them.

Have you ever had one of those friends, as an adult, that you can be silly with?  I mean, really silly?  I think of how silly we get just when we are at church and wonder how silly we would get if we were together during the week.  It's fun to have a friendship like that.  It's relaxing also to know that you can be stupid and she won't care because she's busy being stupid herself!  

What makes a good friendship?  Honesty and trust are two things that I think are important in all relationships.  Being able to relax with each other is a must.  Relax in ways like I described before, to be silly.  Or to relax in each others presence.  To be comfortable with each other enough to just....relax.  I also think that a good friendship needs to be comforting.  Even if you don't get to talk about your problems, it's nice to know that if you did they would be heard with a sympathetic ear.  A friendship also needs love.  Without love, how can there be a friendship?  Those are called acquaintances.  

I am thankful to God for giving me a relationship that has all of these qualities.  I have been blessed to find someone after so long of searching, that I can be ME when I am with her.  The silly me, the goofy me and the little girl me.  She's still here, she's hiding inside and it took a gift from God to make her come out to play!  

So I am saying thank you Lord Jesus for allowing me to have a friendship with Shannon.  

How Sweet it is....

Right now I am listening to my dog, Messalina, howl because she is separated from us.  Going to go let her out.....

Ok...whew.  Before I let her out she had to be quiet.  She is a neapolitan mastiff that we call Messy.  What a big dog.  They grow for 4 years, up 2 and out 2.  She has been growing 2 years so far.  I am hoping that she grows more out than up because she's tall!  Love her anyways and just learned a very important letter from a friend about enjoying  your dog at the moment even though she is irritating.  lol  


Today I awoke sick to my stomach, with a migraine.  It stems from neck pain which I also have today.  I was in an accident 4 years ago that I will blog about at a later date.  That's a great subject because I am still dealing with it.  I should have taken Amanda to her ballet lesson this morning, but I don't like driving with migraines.  So thankfully Greg took her this morning which worked out perfectly because his dad was going to watch Amanda and I don't want to talk to him.  My mom always taught me if I have nothing nice to say it's better to say nothing at all.

I am now listening to Messy paw and paw with her 3 lb clubs at my sliding glass door, which I sit in front of.  I think one of these days she is going to push my window through.


It was great for Amanda that her dad took her today.  Good bonding for them both.  It was also a nice change for me to stay home with Kyle.  Usually it's me and Amanda together.  I plan on doing some school work today with Amanda.  We did part of our school work on Wednesday and none on Tuesday, so we need to catch up.  But that is the joy of homeschooling!

I need to drag myself out of here at some point today to make it into town before the library closes.  I need the books that are being held for me for some of Amanda's assignments.  I should just do that when I am done with this blog.  And besides washing dishes, I don't have much else planned for today being as I feel so awful.  Migraine, neck pain, cramps and foot pain (self-inflicted injury) are not fun to have all in one day.  Oh, let's not forget nauseous.  And thank goodness for Excedrin Migraine!  They can help so much.  It doesn't take the migraine away, just the pain.  I still feel the pressure of it. 

I am hoping to bear through it well enough to be able to read today.  I sure could catch up on my reading.  I need to move onto some new books.  I guess I really can't get any of this done while I am blogging, so I should go.  See ya later!

Simply Me Today

FOR TODAY

January 5, 2010...
Outside my window...Gray skies and lots of rain
I am thinking...I wish that my foot didn't hurt so bad right now.
I am thankful for...being able to have days where I don't worry about getting things done on my schedule.
From the learning rooms...we are going to start our Story of the World books today and I am excited about that. Probably will make today a short day because of my foot and patience.
From the kitchen...dishes need to be washed.
I am wearing...comfy and loose jeans with a simple long-sleeved shirt to stay warm.
I am creating...power points for school, blogs and tags.
I am going...to the library, to pay my power bill and Walmart for hubby's meds
I am reading...Justifiable Means by Terri Blackstock and Inside the Revolution by Joel C. Rosenburg.
I am hoping...that we won't have any more visitors over today.
I am hearing...Messalina whining and Hannah Montana on TV along with the clicking of the keyboard keys and humming of PC
Around the house...things need to be picked up, it's messy.
One of my favorite things...coffee and good books
A few plans for the rest of the week: Keep up with school schedule and rest foot
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

This is last years outfit for Amanda's dance recital.  They were dinner mints.  And of course, that's me!  She is my little ballerina.

Did you like this blog?  Check out more here http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

My First Blog

My first blog....ahhh...where to start? I suppose the best place to start today would be to tell you about myself.

I am a Christian Wife, Mother, Sister, Friend, Aunt and Daughter. I am saved by Jesus Christ and will one day be with Him. I home school my two children who are currently 4 and 6 years old. Teaching is one of my gifts from God and I do it as much as I can. I also teach a Sunday school class of 1st & 2nd graders, a kids church class for preschoolers and I am an AWANA leader for Kindergarten.

I am a musical person also. I know how to play the flute, a little piano, the piccolo, hand bells and of course I love to sing.

Another thing that I love to do is to read. I read all of the time. I like to read some fiction every now and then but I really like to learn. I read non-fiction books of many different types. Researching and learning are two things that I love to do now that I wished I would have liked more when I was in high school. Or maybe I did, but just didn't like what I was learning.

To give me something relaxing to do and to help with stress relief, I also design tags. I do many upon request for different people. I love to do this. It is another part of my creative/artsy side.

I have been married to my husband for 11 years. We have two children together. Amanda is 6 and Kyle is 4. These 3 people are the focus of my life, after Jesus Christ.

So that is pretty much it for now. I need to get my day started and get school ready. Be blessed and join me on my blogging adventure!