Really?

Saturday, while I was in town, I stopped at Safeway for gas.  Now mind you, for all of my new readers, I am going through an accident case from 4 years ago.  I was hit in my mini-van, both of my kids in the car along with my mom and a friend.  My mom's wrist was broken, I ended up with whiplash, my friend also had whiplash, the seatbelt that Amanda was in at that time (5-point harness) had hit her neck.  Kyle was not yet a year so we really don't know if he was hurt, he was still in his backwards carseat.
My injury gave me migraines and degenerative bone disease.  I got a lawyer and didn't start to settle my case until I knew that I was not going to get better and might as well close it.  So I started that and it's taken a year or so to finish it all.  We went in for negotiations but they don't really want to negotiate with us.  So we are taking them to court.  They agree their client caused the accident, they agree that I am in as much pain as I am (I had to be checked by their dr. also) but they don't agree it's caused by the accident.  So stupid.  We are scheduled for court June 7 of this year. 
Anyhow, the reason the story pertains is because I am extremely paranoid to drive now and have been since the accident.  I am always cautious and slow.  ALWAYS.  I was in the Safeway parking lot and some lady just backed right out of her stall and backed into me.  Right into Kyle's sliding door.  That's where he sits.  I saw her but it was too late.  I turned really fast to make sure Kyle was not going to be hurt and that of course, hurt my neck.  We rocked pretty good.  
I pulled around and we both got out and looked at the door.  There is a dent for sure.  It's caved in.  Now my door is catching when we open it.  She asked me twice, "Are you sure that wasn't there?"  Yea lady, I'm sure, you just hit me.  Seriously??  The nerve.
So now here I go...back to the chiropractor go me and Kyle on Wednesday.  Make sure nothing is hurt.  Kyle did tell me that he got hurt on the inside of his leg, where the seatbelt pulled on him.  I hate those 5-point harness.  
My lawyer's office actually called this morning, I was going to call them.  I let them know.  
I also called the insurance of the other lady.  I had to put the claim in.  I want to sell this van soon.  Plus now the door is grinding.  Greg is taking it in tomorrow for an estimate.  Then we will know what to tell them.  
I will be posting pictures soon.  I need to take a few more.  I will also be posting pictures of the Daffodil Parade on Saturday.

 

Excuse Me While I Whine...

Yesterday we lost a very dear member of our family.  My cat, Hemi.  I had a very dear friend help me get him to the vet.  By the time I had gotten there, he was worse.  The vet said he didn't have another 30 minutes to live.  I had to put him to sleep.  It was an extremely hard decision to make.  
Standing in that office, all by myself, thinking of the other loved ones at home who are expecting him to come back home with me.
Standing in that office while the vet tells me there isn't much time left.
Standing in that office, praying, Lord Why?
Standing in that office knowing that I am going to have to tell him goodbye.
So I did.  I kissed him, told him that I loved him and I was so sorry.  Then I walked out.  A nice lady in the waiting room held me while I cried.  
Now the hard part, I have to drive home.  By myself.  Knowing the news that I have to give everyone at home.

.....

That drive home....my stomach twisted and turned.  Why do I have to do this Lord?  We're not ready to deal with this.

He tells me that it's not my choice.  He is in control.

Just before I turned into our road that leads to our driveway.  I said another prayer, "Lord I need strength right now to tell everyone.  Please be with us all and help them to be able to take the news."

I walked in the door and all eyes turned to me...

Greg asks,"Where's Hemi?"

I shook my head at him.  Tears filling my eyes.  Amanda turned to me.

"Where is Hemi, Mom?"

"He's not going to be coming home."

Now all the eyes that were on me are now wide.

"What?  You mean.....never?"  That last word....almost a whisper.

"Yes that's what I mean."

Now everyone is crying.  I hold the kids and Greg goes into the other room.  

Later, when I talked with Greg about the whole situation, he told me that they had all gathered around to pray.  Greg led the kids in a prayer and had them repeat after him.  They prayed that whatever happens is in God's hands and they would love Him no matter what.  When he said "Amen." he looked up, and I was in the driveway.  
The Lord definitely had stepped in there!  I was praying for help and strength, and Greg was praying for them.  At the same time!
So now I am so puffy-eyed this morning that I feel like I am even more squinty-eyed than usual.  I still need to cry.  I am not done mourning.  But I can't do it all the time with the kids here.  I have to show them that we must keep going.  There is still life to live.

And as Greg told us all yesterday...."Be thankful it wasn't one of us that it happened to."

I still don't understand why God wants us to deal with this now.  I probably never will.  But He thinks that we can, so we will.  It may be hard.  It will be hard.

I am still hearing noises that make me think of Messalina here.  How long is it going to be before I stop hearing Hemi?  I have heard him a few times this morning already.  And the kids will see Feisty far off and think it's Hemi and say, "There's Hemi!"  It's so sad.  Amanda said that this morning and Kyle says "Remember Amanda, Hemi isn't coming home."

I wish that I could just sit down and cry.  I was very close to that cat.  And I feel a lot of guilt.  Like I should have done something sooner.....I don't know.  I know that it wasn't my fault.  But those are the thoughts that go through your head.

There is a parade in town tonight and I told the kids that we could go.  I might have to put some make up on just to cover up my blotchy skin and puffy eyes.  And maybe that will help me to feel better while we are out.  I don't want to go out.  I want to stay here, bundle up, curl up and cry.  

That can't be healthy......

So I won't do it.  I will get up and move on.  

Not so good

The day before yesterday my cat started to breathe different.   He is struggling to take a breath.  I don't know what to do for him.  I don't have any more money to take him into the vet.  Last night I was up until about 1:30am watching him breathe and just waiting to see what would happen.  I really didn't think that he was going to make it through the night.  But this morning I can hear him wheezing in his sleep.  He doesn't breath as hard when he is asleep either, so I am not letting anyone bother him.
It's just not fair for him to come home after a week, heal his leg and start to get to much better, then this happens.  Amanda is going to be so heartbroken.  Why does it have to be like this?

Follow Friday April 9

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Sometimes I just don't wanna....

Today I have made a decision that was extremely hard for me to make!  Ok....you better sit down because you are not going to believe this!

Ok a few months ago, I bought a new book that looked great!  

Along with this book, I bought the study guide.  Sometimes I really like the study guides that go along with books.  But this one....not so much.  The book is really good though and I'm learning a lot from it!  They study guide really isn't that bad, it just makes it longer for me to read the book.  Instead of just sitting down to read the book I need to get the study guide, a pencil, my lapdesk and Bible.  Then I read and after I finish a chapter I have to stop to do the study guide.  All of this work makes me not want to sit down and read this book and it has taken me forever.  

So I made a decision today...I am not going to read the study guide.  Now the thing that bothers me most is that I will be letting the study guide go to waste.  I will probably keep the study guide, just in case I want to read the book again and finish the study guide.  I am pretty sure that I will keep the book.

Hopefully now that I have ditched the study guide, I will want to read the book even more.  I want to finish it really soon so I can start a new one!  lol  Onward reader....

I am still reading the first part of the book that talks about al Queda, jihads, Sunni, Osama bin Laden and many other fearful names.  But after 2 more chapters I will be done with part one.  I am curious to start the section about Jefferson followers because I really have absolutely no idea what those are.

Now that I have shared these thoughts with you, I am going to go in, sit down, and read this book.  I have finished the school work for the day.  I still need to wash dishes, so maybe I will do that first, then sit down to read.  

Good page turning to you!

The Simple Woman's Daybook April 6

FOR TODAY
Outside my window...the sky is gray, the wind is barely moving the limbs and flag, the ground is wet, water is dripping and I don't see any birds out there moving around.
I am thinking...that I wished I had gotten up when my alarm went off to get that precious hour or so by myself.  I really need that in the morning.
I am thankful for...my cat being home.
From the learning rooms...Today we will be reading about Jacob in the Bible and we also started a chapter book for young readers called Dinosaurs Before Dark by Mary Pope Osborne.  It is a great book.  We read chapter 1 yesterday and the kids loved it!  We are going to be learning about how things work in Science, like levers, pulleys, etc.  Then our regular subjects Math, Phonics and Reading.
From the kitchen...More dishes to do.  Greg needs to finish the job that he started also.
I am wearing...blue sweats, turquoise fuzzy socks, and a yellow shirt with blue flowers.
I am creating...recipe pages for the church cook book.  They want some extra pages like measure equivalents, substitutions and so forth.  They also want a design made for each category of dishes; main, appetizers, etc.
I am going...to go into town to cash Greg's check, the library and Safeway.  Oh I need to go to the post office too!
I am reading...Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand.  He is the founder of The Voice of Martyrs.  I am not very far into this book yet but it seems good.
I am hoping...I can keep my patience in check today. 
I am hearing...Mickey Mouse on tv, Kyle is talking to me and himself while playing with Play-Doh in the kitchen and Amanda mumbles something to Hemi every now and then.
Around the house...Today?  Mostly laundry folding, dish washing and picking up of the Living Room.
One of my favorite things...The Sun.  But where is it?  I am so ready for it to visit us here.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Amanda is spending the night at her friends house on Saturday night.  That will be interesting and I'm curious to see if she stays all night.  I will take Kyle down to Safeway to pick out a movie for himself to watch that evening.  I am not really sure about the rest of this week.  I don't think there are any plans yet.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...Amanda and Hemi, laying together.  Isn't that just the sweetest thing?  No wonder that cat came back home after he was injured so badly!  He loves Amanda!
If you liked this blog, please join the rest of us by clicking on the Simple Woman Daybook graphic above or follow this link:  http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Happy Resurrection Day

What a glorious Easter day this has been.  I rose this morning happy that my kitty slept with me all night.  That is a wonderful sight!  Our morning was very relaxing for us and we had to be at church an hour earlier for breakfast.  It is amazing.  Usually Sunday mornings are hectic for us and Amanda and I fight.  This morning was easy breezy!
Church was nice this morning also!  I had my hubby there with me, along with his cousins and their kids.  They don't attend church and it's nice to have everyone with me.  I performed 3 songs with the hand bells and I believe that I even have videos to post.  Although, I want to see them first, since I didn't record them.  
After church Greg's cousins came over and the kids had an Easter egg hunt outside and then decorated a couple of cookies.  They have fun doing those things.  I do have pictures to show off, but I think I may wait until later to post them.  It takes so long with blogger and I am very tired.
I am going to do something that will wake me up a bit.  Don't know what that is.  I've had 3 cups of coffee and I am still ready to fall asleep.  I'm sure I'll catch my 2nd wind here soon and post my pictures.